The 2016 Academy Awards

Few memories are as clear to me as my first Oscar night. I was six, and watching the show for the first time because BABE was nominated for seven awards. I must’ve not had school the next day, because after being drawn in by the glamour of the red carpet (Mira Sorvino’s gown was a real standout), I remember watching the entire ceremony from the cozy, omnipresent glow of my Memaw’s kitchen TV. When Sidney Poitier started with the “B — -” announcement for Best Picture, my six-year old heart was positive it would be BABE, but if was of course BRAVEHEART that took home that evening’s big prize. I was crushed, the first of many Oscar disappointments yet to come. But the disappointment certainly wasn’t enough to keep me away — once I saw that first ceremony, I was hooked.

I’d spend a lot more Oscar nights with Memaw — one of my earliest movie buddies, especially when it came to introducing me to classic films like REBECCA or GONE WITH THE WIND — throughout my childhood along with my red-carpet ready Barbies. It was very much A Thing in my family: we’d eat pizza while watching the red carpet, my parents would tell me to go to bed, I’d protest, they’d give in, etc. Eventually, I moved on to watching with my girlfriends in high school, or while in college in Chicago, but I haven’t missed a ceremony since that first one.

This year, when it came time to apply for credentials to the awards, I thought I might as well try for it, especially given The Black List’s long history with the Oscars, and THE REVENANT and SPOTLIGHT’s (both scripts from the annual Black List) inclusion in the nominations. Even after being credentialed for the nominations announcement, I wasn’t very optimistic about my chances of getting into the actual show, given the magnitude of the ceremony. In early January, I got an email one night around 8PM and had to read it three times because I was crying: I was going to the 88th Academy Awards as a member of the press.

Beyond the tears being those of joy, going to the Oscars this year held an incredible significance for me. In October, Memaw, the woman who shaped and encouraged so much of my initial love for film, passed away at 88. When I moved to LA to try and join the film industry in earnest four years ago, Memaw was one of my biggest cheerleaders, providing me with a U-Haul to move cross-country and the deposit for my first LA apartment. She never doubted me, even I was skeptical of my own ability to “make it” in LA. To know that I was going to the Oscars this year, without her cheering me on, was very emotional, to say the least, but I also knew that she’d be beyond proud of me for making the dream I’d started thinking about 20 years earlier in her kitchen a reality.

Tears aside, I needed to prep for the ceremony — in one of Memaw’s notebooks to be read upon her death, she’d written “CRY LATER” on top of the first page, so I took that advice to heart. I found a pair of heels that didn’t make me want to set myself on fire, consulted with my mom and selected a dress from Rent the Runway, attended several introductory sessions, and read every preliminary email from the Academy about the ceremony at least five times. With the Independent Spirit Awards falling on the day before the Oscars, I was given a great trial run of the full awards show experience, and didn’t have time to freak out about the actual day of the Oscars, something my anxious brain certainly appreciated.

Like a kid on Christmas, I of course woke up way too early yesterday and had a breakfast fit for any Oscar nominee: a McDonald’s sausage McMuffin and iced coffee. My hair and makeup artist arrived soon after, and the rest of the day kind of blurred together as I prepped, thanks to a caffeine rush, the PRETTY IN PINK soundtrack, and some uncooperative undergarments. My friend Abby came over to snap some quick glamour shots, and then it was time to head out. It was an odd feeling — of course I was incredibly excited, but as everything fell into place without incident, I felt pretty calm on my Uber ride. I guess on some level I expected some minor disaster to happen, and when it didn’t, I didn’t know quite how to feel, other than relieved.

My Uber dropped me off at the Roosevelt Hotel, and as soon as I jumped out on Orange, the roar from the red carpet became deafening. I made my way towards the security checkpoint at Grauman’s and proceeded towards the Loews Hotel where the press rooms are located. I snuck a peek at the red carpet from the walkway above as the crowd cheered for Alicia Vikander. It was both surreal and yet familiar to me — I’ve been to the Hollywood and Highland complex many times, only this time, instead of browsing shops, I was watching the Oscars red carpet from above. After another round of security, I arrived at the press room and took my spot at one of the banquet tables lining the back of the room. With about two hours til showtime, I settled in and began prepping for the ceremony to start.

It’s so interesting to be a member of the press and watch the different demands and coverage assigned to each outlet. I was seated next to a Korean news outlet and an animation reporter, very far removed from my focus on screenwriting and storytelling for The Black List. Some journalists and reporters are salty and cynical, while others are over-enthused at every turn, and then there are those I feel closest to, who just try to take every moment in. The hustle and bustle of the press room makes it easy to keep your energy up throughout the night, as did the beautiful spread of food laid out by the Academy including my kryptonite, carrot cake. In the final minutes before the ceremony began, our room moderator for the evening was introduced, and instructed us on how to ask questions by holding up our pre-assigned numbers. I didn’t have much luck with this system, but it is the most effective way to wrangle 300 journalists wishing to ask questions of the winners.

Things quieted down as Chris Rock took the stage, and his monologue brought a fairly equal mix of laughs and groans to the press room. Due to the new format of last night’s ceremony, the screenwriting Oscars were up first. I was thrilled that Josh Singer and Tom McCarthy took home Best Original Screenplay for SPOTLIGHT (a 2013 Black List script) and that Charles Randolph and Adam McKay won Best Adapted Screenplay for THE BIG SHORT. I tried to ask both writing teams questions, but didn’t get picked (I definitely don’t envy that moderator.) Singer and McCarthy focused on advocating for victims during their time in the press room, while Randolph and McKay talked about how their film had unified political factions.

Tom McCarthy and Josh Singer accepting their Oscars for Best Original Screenplay for SPOTLIGHT (photo via The Academy)

Being in the press room isn’t that different from watching at home and live-tweeting… except for the fact that you’re in formal-wear and every ten minutes or so, a winner comes through with their shiny new statue. As MAD MAX: FURY ROAD racked up awards, the crew of that film provided some of the best moments of the night in the press room. Crew members were ebullient in singing the praises of director George Miller, with costume designer Jenny Beavan providing one of the night’s warmest press room interviews. Seeing FURY ROAD rack up trophies definitely felt full circle for me too: BABE may not have won in 1996, but I was very happy to see Miller’s movie, my favorite of 2015, fare better in 2016.

With many of FURY ROAD’s winners being female, gender and the role of women in the industry was definitely a major talking point in the press room. Some of the night’s female winners, Alicia Vikander, FURY ROAD’s editor Margaret Sixel, and EX MACHINA’s VFX artist Sara Bennett, specifically talked about how important confidence and self-esteem are to women in the industry. When asked about how to establish yourself as a woman in film, they encouraged young women to push through even if joining the male-dominated industry. I was a bit bummed that Gena Rowlands, my favorite actress of all-time and one of the night’s honorary Oscar recipients (she got her Oscar on my birthday, which I’m still not over), wasn’t brought on stage or back to the press room, but I was glad to see her being lovely and amazing on the red carpet.

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD editor Margaret Sixel (photo via Business Insider)

Many in the press room guzzled cup after cup coffee as the evening went on, but I opted for water and baked goods to fuel the rest of the night. Watching the press react to the night’s surprises, like Mark Rylance’s win, is so fun — fingers fly on keyboards and frantic phone calls are placed. Thanks to Twitter, I was able to stay up on bits from the show even when the in-room televisions were muted while winners spoke. With only four awards left, the press room paused to see Brie Larson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Alejandro G. Inarritu, and the producers behind SPOTLIGHT (yay!) collect the night’s final awards. There was a gap between the end of the ceremony and their arrivals in the press room, and it was only then when I realized it was 10PM, and I’d been furiously tweeting for about seven hours. Like casinos, I think they make press rooms as comfortable as possible to keep journalists content and docile.

I’d been lucky enough to meet Brie Larson during a Women of Cinefamily last year(Larson is a co-founder), and it was great to see so filled with joy after her win. DiCaprio and Inarritu took the stage together to talk about their journey of making THE REVENANT, and both were practically giddy after receiving their trophies, especially given Leo’s long road to the win. The producers of SPOTLIGHT, like Singer and McCarthy, were focused on how the film can continue to raise awareness of child sex abuse victims, and allow them to find their voice. Ennio Morricone and Laszlo Nemes were the only winners who did not join us in the press room, so the SPOTLIGHT producers were the last interview of the night. It seemed like the evening was over soon after it started, as things you’ve built up for a long time often do.

Leonardo DiCaprio and Alejando G. Inarritu with their Oscars for THE REVENANT (photo via ABC)

I headed out of the Hollywood and Highland complex in search of an Uber home, and an employee directed me to exit…via the red carpet. It wasn’t until I started walking backwards down the carpet, which had been the center of the movie universe only a few hours earlier, that the impact of the night hit me. I wanted to go to the Oscars since I watched that first ceremony in 1996, and I was in awe that it had just happened to me without a hitch. It was a total thrill to go as a member of the press, and one day, I hope I’ll go as a nominee — who doesn’t want that? And as the Oscars had always been a big deal in my family, it was a HUGE deal that I got to go last night: I’m the first woman in my family to live away from Cincinnati, the first woman to graduate college, the first woman to have a creative job, etc. I was incredibly proud that I could represent my family at the Oscars last night, as they’ve never wavered in their support of my endeavors.

As I walked down the red carpet, now empty except for me and a few security guards, my thoughts of course turned to Memaw. Of course, I wished she was here still — that I could tell her about my very first night at the Oscars, send her pictures of me in my dress, and talk to her about what it was like in the press room. But, I feel like on some level she had to know that I got to go to the 88th Oscars, the awards the same age as her when she died, and I know she would’ve been immensely proud of me. Memaw couldn’t be there with me, but I brought a bit of her along for the ride: earlier in the day, I needed to pin my dress up a bit, so I used two of her rhinestone pins from the 1950s. I was so glad to have a small piece of her with me in the quiet of the empty red carpet, and to know that I’ll carry her with me wherever I go in this crazy world we call “the industry.” I certainly couldn’t have imagined that I’d go from watching the Oscars in her kitchen to actually being there in my lifetime, but maybe Memaw did, and maybe that’s why she was always able encourage me to keep following my dreams, even when I doubted myself.

After the strange, ultra cool experience of walking down an empty red carpet, I found myself at the limo pick-up for the ceremony. Before I even realized what I had stumbled into, I saw a Coen Brother, Ridley Scott, and Todd Haynes all waiting for their rides. Hollywood can be an unforgiving place, but it sure as hell isn’t boring, and you never know where you’ll find a surprise, just like I did at the end of my first night at the Oscars.

Today, back in my normal life, I can’t help but ponder what the Oscars mean to me, and to so many others. Of course there are many legitimate critiques to be made of the Academy and the film industry as a whole, but I don’t know how it’s possible to attend the ceremony and not feel a sense of shared history, and a genuine love for filmmaking. It’s one of the few things we movie-lovers still do together, every year, wherever we are in the world. The Oscars are always there as a constant, even when our own lives change. I can’t believe how far I’ve come from being a little girl in Ohio who dressed her Barbies up to watch the Oscars with her Memaw. Here’s to what’s hopefully the first of many more nights at the Oscars for me. And I’m so thrilled that The Black List scripts continue to do well at the ceremony, which shines a (wait for it) spotlight on the incredible writers who have brought these stories to the screen — after last night, four of the last eight Best Picture winners and nine of the last eighteen screenwriting Oscars have gone to scripts from the annual Black List.