“Ruthie Pigface Draper, Ruthie Pigface Draper. There’s a girl coming over here, she’s on her way right now. She’s driving here to meet Danny. What’s Her name? Ruthie, Pigface, Draper. (Ruthie) She’s living in a house of bricks, not straw or sticks. I’ll be your big bad wolf, I love your cute curly tail. This little piggie went to market, this little piggie stayed home. This little piggie had roast beef, this little piggie had none. Wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, All the way home!”
– Dan In Real Life (2007), written by Pierce Gardner, Peter Hedges
The Daily Dialogue theme for the week is original composition [song/poem], sugggested by churnage who also submitted Dan in Real Life.
Trivia: Largely based on co-writer Pierce Gardner’s personal experiences on years going to summer vacations at Rehoboth Beach, Delaware with his wife’s extended family.
Dialogue On Dialogue: Commentary from churnage: “Dan hasn’t been on a real date since his wife died several years ago. His family sets himself up with an ugly duckling hometown girl Ruthie Draper, whom his brother and brother-in-law proceed to make a subject of an impromptu, hilarious song about called ‘Ruthie Pig-Faced Draper.’ Nothing like family to rub salt into the wound. Of course, the joke’s on his family… Ruthie has transformed herself since high school and turned into a character played by the fetching Emily Blount.’
ROBBIE: (sings) I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad. Carry you around when your arthritis is
bad. Oh, all I wanna do is grow old with you. I’ll get you medicine when your tummy aches, Build you a fire if the furnace breaks. Oh, it could be so nice growing old with you. I’ll miss you, kiss you, Give you my coat when you are cold, Need you, feed you, even let you hold the remote control.
GLENN: What the hell’s that fruit doin’ here? Get outta the way! Get outta the way!
STEWARD:Excuse me, sir. I have to serve the beverages.
BILLY IDOL: Oh, how you doin’, sir? Chicken or fish?
GLENN: You better get out of my way, Billy, or you’re gonna get hurt.
BILLY IDOL: Oh, yeah?
BIKER: Don’t you talk to Billy Idol that way!
ROBBIE: (sings) So let me clear the dishes in our kitchen sink. Put you to bed when you’ve had too much
to drink. Oh, I could be the man who grows old with you. I wanna grow old with you.
– The Wedding Singer (1998), written by Tim Herlihy
The Daily Dialogue theme for the week is original composition [song/poem], sugggested by churnage. Today’s suggestion by Traci Nell Peterson.
Trivia: Carrie Fisher, Judd Apatow, and Adam Sandler worked uncredited on the script.
Dialogue On Dialogue: Commentary by Traci: “This song says it all with such sincerity and devotion, Glenn-Jerk doesn’t stand a chance. Plus, a Billy Idol cameo?! Case closed.”
Chris: Hey, Gordoe, why don’t you tell us a story?
Gordie: I – I don’t know.
Chris: Oh come on.
Vern: Yeah, come on, Gordoe. But not one of your horror stories, okay? I don’t wanna hear no horror stories. I’m not up for that, man.
Teddy: Why don’t you tell us one about Sergeant Stone and his battling leathernecks?
Gordie: Well, the one I’ve been thinking about is kind of different. It’s about this pie-eating contest. And the main guy of the story is a fat kid that nobody likes named Davie Hogan.
Vern: Like Charlie Hogan’s brother. If he had one.
Chris: Good Vern. Go on, Gordie.
Gordie: Well, this kid is our age but he’s fat, real fat. He weighs close to one-eighty. But you know it’s not his fault it’s his glands.
Vern: Oh yeah, my cousin’s like that, sincerely. She weighs over three hundred pounds. Supposed to be Hyboid Gland or something. Well I don’t know about any Hyboid Glands, but what a blimp. No shit. She looks like a Thanksgiving turkey. And you know this one time –
Chris: Shut up, Vern.
Vern: Yeah, yeah, right. Go on, Gordie, it’s a swell story.
Gordie: Well, all the kids instead of calling him Davie they call him Lardass; Lardass Hogan. Even his little brother and sister call him Lardass. At school they put a sticker on his back that says ‘wide load,’ and they rank him out and beat him up whenever they got a chance. But one day he gets an idea. The greatest revenge-idea a kid ever had.
Mayor: The thing on? Can you hear me? Now the next contestant in the great tri-county pie-eat Principal John Wiggins! And our celebrity-contestant from K-L-A-M in Portland, the Bossman himself; Bob Cormier!
Cormier: Hey, from the racks and stacks it’s the best on wax. How about another olden golden twin spin sound set? With K-L-A-M in Portland . . . i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-t’s . . .
Crowd: Boss!
Mayor: A newcomer to the pie-eat but one we expect great things from in the future. Young master David Hogan!
Lardass Hogan trips on steps.
Travis: Are you alright, young man?
Heckler 1: Hey, Lardass, how was your trip?
Travis: I hear you got a big appetite, Lardass, don’t even think about winning this.
Heckler 2: Boy, are you fat!
Mayor: Don’t pay any attention to those fools, Lardass -uh- Davie.
Crowd: Boom-baba-boom-baba-boom-baba-boom-baba-boom.
Mayor: And now the one you’ve all been waiting for, the four-time champion, our own Bill Travis! Listen, I got ten riding on you myself, Billy-boy. Alright, are you ready? Hands behind your backs, gentlemen! Drumroll !
Twins: Hey, Lardass! Chow down, wide load!
Mayor: Ha, ha, ha. GO!
Various: Done!
Mayor: You better pace yourself if you wanna hold out, boy.
Crowd: Lardass! Lardass!
Gordie: What the audience didn’t know was that Lardass wasn’t really interested in winning. What he wanted was revenge. And right before he was introduced he’d gotten ready for it.
Just before the pie-eating contest, Lardass drinks a huge bottle of Castor Oil and swallows a raw egg.
Crowd: Lardass! Lardass!
Various: Done!
Gordie: By the time he was eating his fifth pie, Lardass began to imagine that he wasn’t eating pies, he pretended he was eating cowflops and rat guts in blueberry-sauce.
Crowd: Lardass! Lardass!
Lardass: Done!
Gordie: Slowly a sound started to build in Lardass’ stomach. A strange and scary sound like a log-truck coming at you at a hundred miles an hour. Suddenly, Lardass opened his mouth. And before Bill Travis knew it, he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Bossman Bob Cormier take one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins. Principal Wiggins barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife’s tits. But when the smell hit the crowd, that’s when Lardass’ plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends. Kids barfed on their parents. A fat lady barfed in her purse. The Donnelly-twins barfed on each other. And the women’s auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes. And Lardass just sat back and enjoyed what he created. A complete and total Barf-A-Rama.
C,T,V: Yeah!
Chris: Now that was the best, just the best.
Vern: Yeah.
Teddy: What happened?
Gordie: What do you mean?
Teddy: I mean, what happened?
Gordie: What do you mean what happened? That’s the end.
Teddy: How can that be the end, what kind of an ending is that? What happened to Lardass?
Gordie: I don’t know. Maybe he went home and celebrated with a couple of cheeseburgers.
Teddy: Jeeze. That sucks. Why don’t you make it so that Lardass goes home, an’ he shoots his father. An’ he runs away. An’ – an’ he joins the Texas- Rangers. How about that?
Gordie: I – I don’t know.
Teddy: Something good like that.
Vern: I like the ending. The barfing was really good. But there is one thing I didn’t understand. Did Lardass have to pay to get into the contest?
Gordie: No, Vern, they just let him in.
Vern: Oh! Oh great. Great story.
– Stand By Me (1986), screenplay by Raynold Gideon and Bruce A. Evans, novel by Stephen King
The Daily Dialogue theme for the week is recounting a legend, courtesy of alexmatu. Today’s suggestion by Jeff Kirschner.
Trivia: The vomit used in the “Lardass” story was made from cottage cheese and blueberry mix.
Dialogue On Dialogue: Lard-ass. Vomit. Cowflops. Is there a better story aimed at young adolescent boys than this one?
As we round up a week’s worth of Daily Dialogue posts featuring the theme of recounting a legend (thanks to alexmatu), we move onto the next subject in our series: Original composition: Song/Poem, suggested by churnage.
This can be interesting. The easy thing would be to select songs written for a musical. But what about songs or poems grounded in the reality of the story universe, expressions of emotions and feelings, one character to another, one character to others, one character to him/herself.
The usual drill:
* Copy/paste dialogue from IMDB Quotes or some other transcript source.
* Copy/paste the URL of an accompanying video from YouTube or some other video source.
I’d also ask you to think about why the dialogue is notable. Is there anything about the dialogue which provides some takeaway re screenwriting?
Here is the lineup for upcoming Daily Dialogue themes:
May 27-June 2: Sex scenes [Dean Scott]
June 3-June 9: Witty banter [stoneinthesling]
June 10-June 16: All is lost [Turambar]
June 17-June 23: Dinner scene [Liri Nàvon]
June 24-June 30: Interrogations [Def Earz]
July 1-July 7: Profanity [JasperLamarCrab]
July 8-July 14: Begging for one’s life [Despina]
See you in comments for your suggestions featuring the theme: Original composition [song/poem].
